enjoying the process » loving the journey, not just the destination

James’ grandmother (Beppe, in Dutch) went to be with the Lord this year. This is the eulogy my father-in-law (her son) gave. I think it’s beautiful & I’m so thankful to have married into a family with such deep roots and LOVE for the Lord. I never met her in person, but she sent nice handwritten letters (I LOVE that) and she made us an afghan that I will cherish forever.

My Mom – 1 – Oct. 15, 2010
Wilma (Wimkje) Lycklama a’ Nyeholt
May 10, 1920 – October 12, 2010
Speaking on behalf of our family (my siblings and I and our families) I want to thank you all for taking time out of your day to remember my mom and the life that she lived here and in the old country – Holland. We also want to thank the pastors, and the staff at Shalom Manor in Grimsby, who spent time ministering to mom in the last few weeks, and to this congregation for all their support. I can’t possibly summarize mom’s 90 years in the time that we have here, but let me give you some of the highlights of her life.
Wimkje (Wilma, our mom) was born into the Boonstra family in Holwerd, Friesland on May 10, 1920. Her father ran a transport business in Holwerd. Mom’s parents had a very strong faith in the Lord and raised her and her three older brothers in that faith. She grew up in Holwerd and learned how to take care of children at a very young age as she helped out with the children of her older brothers. This experience would come in handy later in life.
Mom met her husband-to-be, Jelle (James) Lycklama a’ Nyeholt, on his father’s farm in Blija, a village about 3 km from Holwerd. They were married on May 15, 1941 during the Second World War and moved into a small house next to grandfather’s farm where their first five children were born. Much of mom’s character and work ethics were shaped by the great depression, which she lived through as a youngster, and then WWII, which she witnessed first hand in Holland – an occupied country. It was during the later years of the war that they decided to hide a Jewish lady in the attic of their small house – she survived the war and lived to be 100 years old.
In 1946 dad and mom had decided that they needed to immigrate to North or South America to look for better opportunities for their family. An opportunity came up to immigrate to Canada in 1948. They had five children at the time – four boys and one girl. While making plans to immigrate, a drowning incident took the life of my sister on April 15, 1948. This was a tragic loss, especially for mom, as it was her only daughter. On August 10, 1948, my parents took a giant leap of faith and boarded the ship, the Kota Inten, with four boys on their way to Embro, Ontario Canada. Leaving the dock at Rotterdam they waved goodbye to parents and other family members – close relatives who they had no expectation of ever seeing again. [Fortunately times changed, and their hard work made it possible to revisit the homeland by airplane many times after 1960.] The ship landed in Montreal, Canada ten days later on August 20th, 1948. From there our family took a long train ride to Woodstock, near Embro, Ontario. The passage to Canada was paid for by a farmer for whom dad was obligated to work for one year.
I remember the early years in Canada as we attended a one-room schoolhouse, learned a new language, and learned to integrate into a new culture. This was all very foreign to mom and dad but they were determined to make it work. Mom and dad took English classes in the evening to learn the new language. After working for the farmer for one year, the family moved to Camlachie, a small village near Sarnia. Dad started a factory
My Mom – 2 – Oct. 15, 2010
job in Sarnia but also did farming on the side on the farm in Camlachie. That’s where we came in – we got to do farm chores as young boys.
After six years in Camlachie, the family moved to Burlington in October 1955 so that dad could pursue some better job opportunities. The younger five children were born in Embro, Camlachie and Burlington. Mom and dad have been members of the Burlington CRC church for the fifty years from 1955 to 2005. We lived on another farm in Burlington to provide a source of income in addition to the income from dad’s carpentry business. Mom and dad lived in Burlington until their move to Shalom Manor in 2004.
Many remember mom as a fairly serious lady, always busy taking care of her children as they grew up. She was very involved in our lives and was always concerned with the welfare of her family. She transmitteded many important values to her children over the years (some of which I will mention in a minute) but we also have memories of some significant character-building occasions as well as some humorous events in her life. I’ll just mention a few today:
1. In 1953 we experienced a rare tornado in Camlachie on the farm that we lived on. Dad was working at the time and we were at home with mom. As the storm picked up strength mom knew that she had to get us into the basement of the farm house that we lived in. The only way there was through the trapdoor in the kitchen. The problem was there was a large stove on top of the trapdoor during the summertime. We were too weak to move it. My mom was a short woman but she was able to move it herself and make way for us to get to the basement. We were protected from the storm raging above us. The power of the wind lifted the roof off our barn. Mom did what she had to do – a great example to us children.
2. Another thing I remember about mom is that she had us do a lot of chores during the time we were not in school. My older brother and I often had to pick beans in the home garden as part of our duties. It so happened that the garden was close to a creek running through the pasture where the cows were kept. Sometimes we would get tired of picking beans and wander off to the creek to catch frogs. It wasn’t long before mom came looking for us. Boy did we get it. We learned discipline fast.
3. We remember the time she fell down the stairs with a large pan of soup in her hands. The meatballs ended up in her hair. The soup was all over the stairs and the floor. Fortunately she was unhurt and took it all in stride.
4. We remember when she fell asleep in the baby crib upstairs one afternoon – it was just too comfortable. Gerda had to help her get back out when she woke up.
5. She loved to go shopping – often with Gerda and her mother. On one occasion she had a lamp pole in her hand. During a careless moment, while scratching an itch on her leg, she got the lamp pole stuck in a lady’s skirt. The more mom tried to disentangle the pole, the higher she lifted the lady’s skirt. The more mom tried, the angrier the lady became.
6. Shopping incident #2 – Mom got stuck in a bathroom with two of our daughters. Store maintenance had to be called to take the door off its hinges to get them out.
7. On the more serious side, mom loved to sing in the choir. She would never miss an opportunity to do so.
My Mom – 3 – Oct. 15, 2010
My parents were fortunate to be able to spend more than 25 years together in their retirement so that they could travel, visit family back in Holland, and also spend time with their children and grandchildren who were by then spread out over Canada and the USA. We are grateful that God granted them those years after spending so many years working to support us and to provide us opportunities.
I appreciate my parents for the sacrifice that they made for us, their children. They could have stayed in Friesland and inherited the family farm, but no they sacrificed this opportunity for greater opportunities for us in Canada. Each of us children took advantage of the new opportunities which we would not have had in the home country.
I’ve learned many valuable lessons from mom during my years at home until I went off to university to pursue my higher education goals. My siblings and I have all learned from mom over the years that we spent at home, and the subsequent years as we married our mates and had children of our own. Because of the spread in our ages our experiences varied. Our parents instilled certain values in us that we have tried to pass on to our children. These include:
1. The value of family heritage – Our family roots have been traced back to the 1500’s in the small town of Nijeholtpade in the province of Friesland in the Netherlands, also known as Holland.
2. The importance of family relationships – Mom and dad have always kept in touch with their parents and siblings in the old country.
3. The importance of friends – Without any family close by, friends in the new country became very important.
4. The value of memorable family times – Family times were important to our parents. We remember many family picnics, church picnics, picnics with friends, swimming in the lake after doing the chores, and fishing trips as young children.
5. Work ethics – Our parents taught us to work hard, and to perform that work with pride and integrity.
6. Discipline – Our parents were strict disciplinarians. I remember many a Saturday morning when we were responsible for cleaning the house – mom oversaw that.
7. To be responsible for our actions – Mom often said, “you’ve made your bed – now you lie in it.”
8. The importance of our Christian faith – Our family comes from a strong Christian tradition, a tradition that mom maintained. But it was more than a tradition to mom – she lived by it and taught us to live by.
9. The importance of the gathering of believers – Our parents made every effort to be in church every Sunday.
10. Respect for the Lord’s Day – They regarded Sunday as a special day set aside for worship, rest, family time, and visitation with friends – not encumbered by work or unnecessary activities.
11. The importance of “giving thanks” – Mom and dad exemplified hearts of thankfulness, giving thanks before every meal as a token of gratitude, not taking
My Mom – 4 – Oct. 15, 2010
things for granted, mindful of what it took to put food on the table, and mindful of those who did not have what we had.
12. The importance of daily devotions – While growing up as a child, I remember the daily reading of the Children’s Bible Stories at the dinner table. Our parents continued their dinnertime devotions into their years of retirement.
13. The example of sacrificial giving – Our parents never had it roomy, but they always gave to the church, to the needy, to missions and to Christian schools.
14. The importance of Christian Schools – After the older children were out of the house, mom went out and got a part time job so that she could support the education of the younger children in Christian schools. That was her sacrifice. Mom was also part of a group called “The Willing Workers” who served at many church functions and at bazaars to raise money for Christian schools. She loved to knit and crochet scarves, sweaters and blankets to help raise school funds.
15. To help those less fortunate than us – Even during the last few years of the Second World War my parents hid a Jewish woman in the attic of their small house, giving of themselves selflessly to save her life at great risk to themselves.
16. The importance of knowing whom I represent – The Bible exhorts us to be mindful of whom we represent as believers (Jesus Christ).
Mom led a life of service to God not because she thought she could earn her way to heaven (none of us can do enough good to earn it) but because of her gratitude to the Lord who sacrificed His life for the forgiveness of all of our sins. She understood that we who believe in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior have eternal life as a free gift from God.
I’m proud of my mother, proud of the heritage she gave me, mindful of the example she set, and thankful for the sacrifice that she made for us that we might have the opportunity to lead richer lives here in Canada and the US. Did I always live up to her high standards? No, I’ve tripped up many times, but I’ve learned to pick myself up and try again. It is because of her sacrifice and her example that I am obligated not to squander the opportunity given to me. As Jesus said, “For everyone to whom much is given, from him much will be required.”
Mom leaves her legacy for her 10 children, 34 grandchildren and 48 great grandchildren. If I can pass half of what my mom has taught me, of her example and her rich heritage, on to the next generations, I’ll be blest. I’ll miss mom, but I’m secure in our common Christian faith, knowing that we’ll meet again in heaven.
To mom I say – Till we meet again on the other side.
To you all – Thank you for sharing this special day with our family in remembering mom’s life and in your support in our time of mourning.
On behalf of our family,
Heinz Lycklama a’ Nyeholt